Adriana in the middle with Malcolm
by scuba angel
Summary: An exchange student comes to stay with Malcolm and his family, except he turns out to be a she. Confused? You should be. Sparks fly and worlds are turned upside down in this tale if love, life and Lypase. (Don't worry you'll soon get it)
1. Chapter 1

Adriana in the middle with Malcolm.  
  
'Hal! Help me with this bed!' Lois shouted throughout the Wilkerson household.  
  
'Mom's been in overdrive since the baby came.' Malcolm said to the camera in his usual way. 'We've got an English exchange student coming over, he's supposed to be smart so he'll have to hang out with me. Mom's trying to fit another bed into our room.'  
  
'Hal! It goes the other way!'  
  
'So far, with no such luck.' Malcolm sat down at the dinner table when the doorbell went. Everyone froze. Reese and Dewey's head appeared from under the mattress which was trying to go into the room.  
  
'He's early.' Reese said stating the obvious.  
  
'He can't be early, this place looks a mess!' And Lois wasn't wrong, there were dirty plates in the sink, the mattress half in and half out of the doorway and various pieces of the back garden scattered the floor. The doorbell went again. Hal, Lois, Reese and Malcolm starting rushing around trying to clean up whilst Dewey went and answered the door.  
  
'No Dewey!' They all chorused just as he opened the door. Too late. Standing in the doorway was a 17 year old girl holding a rucksack over her shoulder and a small suitcase in the other.  
  
'Hi.' Dewey said to her. She looked down, and then crouched down so that they were at eye level.  
  
'Hey,' she spoke to him. 'I'm Adriana,' she stuck her hand out to him which he took and shook. 'I'm the exchange student from England. And what's your name?'  
  
'Dewey.' He stammered out, this girl was treating him like he was her age.  
  
'Well Dewey are you gonna let me in and introduce me? Cause I'm sure you're more capable than your two goldfish, gawping brothers.' She stood up and followed Dewey in closing the door behind her. 'Nice place.' She said to them as she dumped her suitcase by the coat rack.  
  
'Adriana,' Dewey turned to her then pointed to each of his family in turn. 'This is Mom, Dad, Malcolm and Reese.'  
  
'Hi.' She replied to them.  
  
'Hey,' Reese and Malcolm both sighed out, then turned and glared at each other, Adriana noticed this and just giggled, leaving Malcolm and Reese to go back to their gawping. She walked forward and shook Lois and Hal's hands.  
  
'Hi, I'm Adriana. And I'm guessing by the fact that your names are on my information card that you are Lois and Hal.'  
  
'I'm sorry,' Lois spoke up. 'That we're gawping, it's just that, we were sorta expecting a boy.'  
  
'Oh, that happens a lot, you know transferring. My surname is so long that they can't fit on the whole of my first name so they just put Adrian. It does get a little old.' She told them. 'So,' she went and got her suitcase and returned. 'Because I am here for a whole year until my family can get over here, I am going to be part of this family. So tonight I will cook dinner, I hope you like Shepeard's Pie, I will also wash up now, wash up afterwards and I will clean the floor, and is it okay if you deal with the mattress for me? I know it's a lot to ask, and I know you must think I'm intruding but'  
  
'Oh no!' Malcolm exclaimed. 'You're not intruding!'  
  
'No!' Reese put in. 'How could you ever think that? Come on Dewey let's get this mattress in there for her!'  
  
'HOLD IT!' Lois shouted to them. 'Don't even think that she's sleeping in there with you!'  
  
'Why not?' Malcolm asked.  
  
'Why? Because you and Reese are two hormonally driven teenagers! There is no way she is sleeping in there with you!'  
  
'Mrs Wilkerson?'  
  
'Please call me Lois.'  
  
'Okay, Lois? Don't worry about me, I can handle myself. Don't worry, I mean I'm a seventh degree black belt. I'm a master. No one is taking advantage of me.' Reese and Malcolm were looking at this girl in a new light. Malcolm was still totally in love with her, but Reese was looking at her with a whole new perspective of respect.  
  
'Okay fine. Reese, Malcolm, Dewey. Get that mattress in there!' Lois ordered the boys around.  
  
'Great! I'll get started on the dishes get dinner on the go and clean the floor.' Adriana walked towards the mattress and crawled under it, deposited her bag and suitcase, came back out and started to work. Lois and Hal went and sat on the couch to watch the TV. 'Come on boys! That mattress won't move itself!' All three of the boys rushed to the mattress and had it in in no time. 


	2. Happiness is SO overrated

Happiness is SO overrated  
  
#  
  
'Guys!' Adriana called. 'Dinner's ready!' The Wilkerson's brothers all came running into the kitchen and within seconds of sitting down were scoffing their faces full of food.  
  
'Okay,' Malcolm said to the camera. 'It's been two months since Adriana moved in, and it's only been getting worse!' he turned to Adriana. 'This is great Adriana, you're an amazing cook.'  
  
'Thanks Malcolm,' Adriana said with a smile as she sat down and started her dinner as well.  
  
'See?' Malcolm said to the camera again. 'All she does is smile at me and I turn to mush! She HAS to be stopped.'  
  
#  
  
'Hey Malcolm,' Adriana said as she came and sat down next to him on the sofa. 'I just got Dewey to sleep so do you mind if I turn this down?' She asked him motioning to the TV.'  
  
'Sure,' Malcolm said before returning to his studies. The two of them sat in a comfortable silence before Reese came back in. 'Hey Reese!'  
  
'Hey Malcolm, how are you on this fine evening?' Reese asked in a false English accent.  
  
'And yet somehow that still bothers me,' Adriana said from her position slouched on the sofa.  
  
'Oh! Good evening Adriana darling! I didn't see you there!' Reese bent down and gave Adriana a sloppy kiss on the cheek making her struggle and giggle causing Malcolm to fume.  
  
'Dammit!' Malcolm said to the camera. 'Why does Reese have to be so charming and good at that English accent?'  
  
'Reese! Stop it! I know you're happy I introduced you to your new girlfriend but please! Stop!' Adriana giggled again as Reese blew a raspberry on her face. Malcolm sighed before returning to his homework and trying to drown out the disgustingly happy noises next to him.  
  
#  
  
'Hi Malcolm,' Dewey said to him as he played with the bug on his finger.  
  
'Hey Dewey.' Malcolm went and reached for a bowl out of the cupboard before turning back to his younger brother. 'What are you doing?'  
  
'I'm playing with Michael.' Malcolm sighed before asking the inevitable.  
  
'Why Michael?' He asked making Dewey smile.  
  
'I name him Michael because soon he'll turn into a cocoon and then he'll re- emerge as a white butterfly, just like Michael Jackson!' Dewey told him with a smile on his face.  
  
'That isn't a cater-' Malcolm sighed when he saw how happy Dewey was and decided against squashing it. 'You know what? Nevermind. Tell Michael I said hi.' Malcolm finished before exiting the room and turning to the camera. 'Is it just me, or is everyone really happy right now? I know! I'll go find mom, she's at work. She'll be miserable!' He finished with a smile before practically skipping out the front door.  
  
'I wonder who he talks to when he speaks to no one like that,' Dewey said to himself. 'What do you think Michael?' He sat in silence for a moment. 'You're probably right.' Dewey said before getting up and walking out as Adriana walked into the room.  
  
'Strange kid,' she muttered to herself before reaching for a glass off the draining board.  
  
#  
  
'Hey mom!' Malcolm said with a smile as he set a bag of candy down on the conveyor belt.  
  
'Oh Hi Malcolm!' Lois said as she rang the cash register through for his candy.  
  
'How's work?' Malcolm asked quickly with an eager smile on his face.  
  
'It's great!' Lois said with a smile before she started to rattle off everything that had been going great for her, Malcolm tuned her out whilst speaking to the camera.  
  
'Something is wrong here! Better act pleased.' Malcolm turned back to his mom as she stopped speaking and put on a fake smile. 'That's great mom! I better get back, Dewey wants his candy.' Malcolm snatched the bag and gripped it very tight before walking out.  
  
#  
  
'Okay,' Malcolm said to the camera. 'This is my last chance, help me out here!' Malcolm took a deep breath before walking up to his dad, Hal. 'Hey Dad, what you up-'  
  
'Not now Malcolm!' Hal shouted harshly at him.  
  
'What's wrong Dad?' Malcolm asked with a grin.  
  
'What's wrong?' Hal asked shrilly. 'What's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong! I have spent three hours trying to unclog this drain and nothing is working!' Hal turned back to his work and continued to complain. 'And I can't ring in a professional because we have no money, which is just the story of my- hey!' Hal cried out happily.  
  
'What?' Malcolm asked panicky. 'What is it?' He turned to the camera. 'Please let it not be his lost cuffling.'  
  
'It's my lost cuffling!' Hal said with a smile as he came out from under the sink not noticing as Malcolm quietly weeped. 'And look! The drain's fixed!' Hal laughed out loud before walking off as chuffed as humanly possible. 'LOIS? GUESS WHAT I DID!' He shouted as he walked out of the kitchen. Malcolm looked down dejectedly before walking out of the back door. Unbeknownst to him, someone had watched everything.  
  
#  
  
'Hey,' Malcolm turned around as he heard the quiet greeting and saw Adriana standing behind him with a jacket on.  
  
'What are you doing here?' Malcolm as he turned back around. Adriana walked up to him and sat down.  
  
'I saw you come out here and decided to see what was up.'  
  
'Nothing's up.' Malcolm told her but all he got in response was a "I'm not believe this crap you're trying to sell me" look. 'If you saw me come out here why did it take you so long to come out here?'  
  
'Couldn't find my jacket,' Adriana told him as she motioned to her jacket. 'So, you gonna tell me what's wrong?'  
  
'It's stupid,' Malcolm finally said as he relented to her pressurising.  
  
'Nothing's stupid if it matters to you.' Adriana said quietly surprising Malcolm with her wise words.  
  
'Everyone's happy but me.' Malcolm told her causing her to burst out in laughter. 'Yeah, thanks! I'm glad my sadness amuses you.'  
  
'Oh Malcolm, that's not what amuses me.' Adriana said as she wiped at her eyes before sobering up. 'What amuses me is that you think you need to be happy.'  
  
'What?'  
  
'Please! Happiness is SO overrated.' Adriana moved closer to him because of the cold. 'And it doesn't last. The kind of happiness they're feeling, I give it an hour tops before they go back to their healthy resenting ways. But you, have a different happiness. You've admitted that you're unhappy, and there are only steps upwards from that. Theirs declines, in fact I think Dewey will fall down his steps because I accidentally sat on his bug, but don't tell him!' Adriana said to Malcolm panicky making him laugh a little. 'Was that a smile I believe I got out of the unhappy one?' She asked playfully.  
  
'Yeah,' Malcolm sighed. 'How do you know so much about these things?'  
  
'I don't, I know so much about you guys. I can read you all like books now. That's how I found a girlfriend for Reese; she's perfect for him. But you, you were the hardest, I've spent a week watching you just to get this far.' Adriana leaned over and gave him a small kiss on the cheek. Malcolm looked at her surprised before she smiled small-y and stood up to enter the house again.  
  
'Great,' Malcolm muttered to the camera. 'You made me unhappy and in love. Are you trying to turn me into a angst ridden teenager?' 


End file.
